Jason Byrne's Blog

10 Ways To Celebrate @CthulhuChick’s Birthday September 13, 2011

In honor of @cthulhuchick’s (aka Ruth’s) birthday, I thought I’d put together a list of ways you can celebrate this momentous event.

1. Read some Lovecraft! Seriously, you really should have done this already, so we’re letting you off easy with this one. And as Ruth is always one step ahead of the rest of us, she’s already provided the easiest way to do it — just download from here and start reading already!

2. Begin to worship her as a deity. While this may actually make her feel momentarily uncomfortable, it will also provide the foundation for her to be included in a novel that Neil Gaiman should write (along the lines of American Gods and Anansi Boys) and she’d enjoy that.  She’d enjoy it even more if Amanda Palmer released a companion album to go along with the book.

3. What to do if you’re already worshiping Ruth as a deity? Well, than you need to have a high priestess to ensure the rituals are kept and practiced correctly and that the offerings and sacrifices are performed. But you don’t want just anyone off the street — this is an important job! Personally, my wife and I decided it was best to procreate and have our daughter be our High Priestess of Ruth. The young high priestess is well along in her training and already firmly believes that Ruth makes all sorts of things, like clouds.

My daughter and her Cthluhu (named "Clue")

4. Observe her birthday in a much appreciated way – do not write or mention the word “zombie.” Seriously. In fact, best to never mention that word around her — ever. (Her reaction is priceless as I unintentionally discovered, but you’ll feel bad if you do — so don’t!)

5. If you are of a persuasion to appreciate it, spend a few minutes in quiet meditation and contemplation over this: bit.ly/dropthetowel

6. If you are an overlapping or different persuasion, do the same as #5 but with this picture.

7. Take all of the plush figures, toys, etc. you have in your house and burn them/throw them away, lest they ever come into contact with Ruth’s hands and give her the heebie-jeebies.

8. Support a library. As homes of esoteric and arcane knowledge, this is just a good idea to begin with, but since Ruth is a librarian-in-training, libraries also serve as a place of worship of all things Ruth.

9. Enjoy and share whatever you’re geeky about. Above all else, this sums Ruth up as well as anything, and whether it’s crocheting, Battlestar Galactica, Cthulhu or some lesser amusement, half the fun should be in sharing it with others.

10. Use at least a dozen of these words in tweets, emails, daily speech, etc. to mark the occasion

Extra bonus points: Plan a trip to Innsmouth

Or if you prefer, simply wish her a happy birthday . . . but with all these other options, that just seems kind of lame.

Extra, Extra bonus points: Write a silly blog post about her birthday.

I WIN!