Where someone might say "thank God," do you say something else? What?

In order of usage frequency: 1) "Woohoo!" 2) "Thank goodness!" 3) "Thank Cthulhu!" 4) "By Odin’s beard!" 5) "By the marinara of the FSM!" 6) "That’s cool, but whatever" 7) "I’d thank someone else, but I’m a secular humanist, so go me!"

BTW, answer key as to when I use these:
1: Overexcited puppy Jason (Thus the high frequency count);
2: Polite Jason;
3: Slumbering Jason;
4: Only do this one on Thursdays;
5: You’d think I reserve this one for being in like-minded company, but no, I like to use it on southern baptists;
6: Hipster Jason
7: Fully self-actualized Jason, aka Smart-ass Jason

Ask me anything


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